How do Chiefs conspiracies compare to all-time sports mysteries?

🎤 QUICK START ✍️

🏈 Dianna Russini sounded off on Brian Schottenheimer’s introductory press conference as new head coach of the Dallas Cowboys, which was really all about just how weird Jerry Jones has become.

🇺🇸 Former Indianapolis Colts head coach and current NBC analyst Tony Dungy has been named as a potential US Senate candidate for a newly open seat from Michigan. In case you were wondering, he would run as a Republican.

🏀 The NCAA has answered our prayers by moving up the start time of the NCAA Tournament national championship game 30 minutes to 8:50 p.m. ET. It’s the first positive, proactive step from the NCAA since… ever?

🥊 Jake Paul and Logan Paul are doing something (???) on Max. Although the promo poster that was shared looks suspiciously like a boxing promo, nothing in any announcement actually indicates a fight taking place.

🚨LEADING OFF 🚨

How do Chiefs conspiracies compare to all-time sports mysteries?

The NFL has completely lost control of the narrative with the Kansas City Chiefs returning to their third straight Super Bowl. Last season, the conspiracy theories about the NFL favoring Kansas City because Travis Kelce was dating Taylor Swift was a ROTFLMAO sideshow relegated to the lunatic fringe of social media or OAN.

But this year after the Chiefs have somehow won every close game imaginable while the officiating miraculously somehow always falls their way, the cries of conspiracy have now gone mainstream. At the very least, the conversation about the Chiefs getting calls has become unavoidable for the NFL.

But when you really stop and think about it, a conspiracy would be reallllly hard to pull off over the course of three seasons with the Chiefs attempting to go back-to-back-to-back. Have they gotten more than their fair share of breaks? Yes. But we haven’t even seen anything resembling the infamous Saints-Rams no call from 2019 so maybe we should pump the brakes a little bit. Right now, the Chiefs have a ways to go before they reach this pantheon of greater and more reasonable sports conspiracy theories. If you can call a conspiracy reasonable that is…

1) The frozen envelope - During the first NBA Draft Lottery, the moribund New York Knicks won the opportunity to draft Patrick Ewing. As the infamous theory goes, the Knicks envelope was frozen, allowing NBA commissioner David Stern to hand select Ewing to go to Madison Square Garden. As far as sports conspiracy theories go, this is the gold (cold?) standard.

2) The Michael Jordan “suspension” - Did Michael Jordan really take two years off from the NBA at the absolute top of his game to experiment with a baseball career? Or was he secretly suspended for gambling?

3) The fix is in - What is it about the NBA and conspiracies? While fans have been all over NFL referees this year, nothing will match the 2002 Western Conference Finals between the Kings and Lakers where the officiating was so one-sided in Game 6 it became fodder for actually corrupt ref Tim Donaghy. The Lakers shot 27 free throws in the fourth quarter alone.

4) The phantom punch - It’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s entertainment when it comes to boxing exhibitions anymore, but one of the most famous matchups in history has been the subject of conjecture ever since. Rumors have swirled about Sonny Liston throwing one or both of his fights to Muhammad Ali in the 1960s for a half century thanks to his links to the mob.

5) Gold medal travesty - It’s hard to call this one a conspiracy theory because it happened in broad daylight in front of the watching world. During the 1972 Summer Olympics, the USSR was given three chances to defeat the USA in the closing seconds of the gold medal game until they finally succeeded. The US team has rightfully still not accepted their silver medals to this day.

If Patrick Mahomes gets three chances in the closing seconds to win the Super Bowl next week, then we will begin to think there’s something to all these Chiefs conspiracy theories.

📣 SOCIAL EXPERIMENT 🌟

🗣️ Elle Duncan said what now? Apparently it was “premature I’m jacked elation.” Those are quite the words to put together aren’t they!

🗣️ Chris Canty got called out by his own production room for an egregious flip-flop on Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Jalen Hurts.

₿ Jemele HIll’s X account was hacked with constant promotions for meme coins. Thank goodness it wasn’t really her because usually promoting sketchy meme coins is only for someone like the Hawk Tuah girl or the President of the United States.

🔦 IN THE SPOTLIGHT ☀️ 

A lot was made over Aaron Glenn and Liam Coen winning and losing their introductory press conferences respectively. But if Hue Jackson can “win” his press conference in Cleveland then go 3-36, then what exactly are we doing here?

🏄 CHANNEL SURFING 🌊 

✍️ Ryan Glasspiegel of Front Office Sports reports that Colin Cowherd is likely to stay at Fox Sports and FS1 with his contract set to expire next month and his impending free agency expecting to be a hotly contested sweepstakes.

✍️ Ben Portnoy at Sports Business Journal looks at where the College Football Playoff goes from here after its first season to an expanded 12 teams while Mollie Cahillane and Austin Karp have an inside look at the CFP’s meetings with ESPN that finds both sides happy with year one of the new format.

✍️ Andrew Marchand at The Athletic reports that Amazon is close to signing ESPN’s Cassidy Hubbarth to be their lead NBA sideline reporter when coverage starts on the streamer next season.

📺 WHAT TO WATCH 📺 

⚽ Wednesday will feature a first in soccer history. The new league stage format of the Champions League concludes with all 36 teams playing 18 matches simultaneously in what will be one of the wildest days of soccer ever seen. The good news is that CBS is planning a Red Zone style Golzao Show (as they usually do for UCL matchdays). The bad news is it’s behind a paywall at Paramount+.

🔥The Closer🔥

It’s a bad time to be a hater…

While it’s always nice to cheer for your favorite team when it comes to sporting events, sometimes it’s just as satisfying to cheer against your least favorite team. After all, part of fandom is being able to freely be a “hater” without fear of judgment or scorn for being totally irrational in rooting against someone. It could be because of their personality, their constant success or luck, or the cut of someone’s jib, whatever.

Unfortunately for all the haters, though, it’s been a generational run against them.

Take a look at the last few championship games and series. The World Series featured a Dodgers-Yankees matchup and two teams who spend a combined gazillion dollars on their payrolls that make a mockery of any sort of competitive balance in the sport. The College Football Playoff national championship game saw Ohio State and Notre Dame and their unpopular fanbases fight for a title. And now we have a Super Bowl that we quite literally just saw a few years ago between the Conspiracy City Chiefs and the Philadelphia Eagles that has people openly rooting for the meteor.

Television networks and the leagues may love the ratings and interest that these big brands bring to the table, but it hasn’t been a great time if you’re looking for a good Cinderella story or fairytale ending to come true. The closest thing we got was Ryan Day’s redemption leading Ohio State to the promised land after falling short against Michigan once again… but that was with a Buckeyes team that was ranked second in the AP preseason poll. Let’s not confuse them with Little Giants.

It’s been a brutal stretch. And to make matters even worse, Cooper Flagg has the Duke Blue Devils ranked #2 in the country in college basketball. Buckle up haters, the bumpy ride is going to continue.